Libro de arte coquinaria

Libro de arte coquinaria Maestro Martino

 

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What distinguishes a Chef from a charlatan?
Knowledge of the ingredients, intuition, humility, ability, willpower, courage to experiment.
Luck has little to do with, a donkey can pretend to be a horse… but sooner or later he is braying!

 

Starting from the publication of the “Libro de arte coquinaria” of the Italian Chef and gastronomist Maestro Martino, who lived between the XIV and the XV century and considered the most important European Chef of the XV century, a cornerstone of Italian gastronomic literature that testified the passage from the medieval to the renaissance cuisine to get to the last Chefs on the web and television, it is interesting to see how much in over six centuries has changed, even if not always the change is synonymous of improvement.

I greedily browse books and web pages published by Italian Chefs (with some foreigner) looking for some, it is appropriate to say, “delicious morsels”, the perfect delicacy, point the focus on particular indiscreet, some yielding to the vanity anyway revealers of the human, anthropological characteristics of the cooks.
To worthily celebrate my compulsive hunger for knowledge, it is necessary, first of all, to leave out nothing of the browsed pages, because the “gold nugget” could hide, for example, between the folds of a carbonara or in the corners of a meticulous report about cooking of a risotto.

And then it turns out that, for example, al dente pasta, the workhorse of Italian cuisine, explained precisely by Maestro Martino in his “Libro de arte coquinaria” had very long cooking times.
But going to more recent times it turns out that in 1844 the pasta was cooked an hour, dropped to 45 minutes (The learned Chef of 1871), 15-20 minutes suggested (The real Genoese cuisine of the late nineteenth century and the military Chef of the 1932), again one hour (How can I eat well? 1913), 45 minutes (The healthy kitchen 1846), although there are some voices outside the chorus like that of the Neapolitan Chef Ippolito Cavalcanti who advised in 1837 to drain pasta when it “showed still a certain tenacity“: with the passing of time, this gastronomic revolution has also contaminated northern of Italy, despite having established itself as a general rule only after World War II.
The homologation of pasta cooking needed tests, time and tastings, one the goldl nugget was provided by Chef Elio Sironi who a couple of years ago discovered and sold pasta with “indirect cooking“, ie cook in boiling water for two minutes and fire off the remaining time so as not to disperse the starch in the water and enhance its flavor.
The phenomena that take place during the cooking of the pasta are three: the diffusion of water inside the pasta which is at any temperature; gelatinization of starch above 60 degrees; the denaturation of gluten between 70 and 80 degrees.

The essay of Benjamin Thompson on 1799

The essay of Benjamin Thompson on 1799

Following this rule (recycled by Benjamin Thompson who on 1799 wrote an essay on thermodynamics applied to cooking food), any temperature above 80 degrees is a useless waste of energy but its assertion that the water turned off enhances the flavor of the pasta is groundless.

Among the folds of an interview with two Michelin Stars Chef Gianfranco Vissani, we discover a self proclaimed lover of traditional cuisine that does not boggle to point the finger at colleagues who accuse of having turned the kitchen upside down, with modern cooking forms that he says “are the greatest disgust in the world and kill flavors and consistency, everything tastes like boiled “.
Vissani talks about the vituperated vacuum cooking at a low temperature, I honestly do not share his opinion while I admit that it does not work on everything and the results can be different by the beginners expectations.
And continuing asserts that “many cooks are not even able to cook the pasta, use tap water and the chlorine affects breaking the spaghetti because the chlorine does not evaporate, indeed, when boiling it concentrates, a good restaurant should know it “.
And more” I saw famous chefs in television programs salted the meat before cooking it, another told that the salt evaporates: it is the water that evaporates, its a disaster!
But also Chef Vissani does not come out well: the verbal confrontations with the gastronomist Luigi Veronelli who accuses him of using soy oil instead of Extra Virgin Olive Oil for frying, are well known, but the golden nugget of the traditionalist Chef resides in this transposition (should be better call it destruction) of bucatini alla Amatriciana composed by mixing the sauce and putting it on the bottom of a cup, adding a bucatini mousse on top and finally the sponge cake soaked with “Strega” cordial.
It was a recipe so successful that on the web it is impossible to find any image… thankfully!

In this mine we can find also the amatriciana with the garlic of the Chef Cracco that has triggered many reactions, the most significant of which was the invitation of the Chef from the typical cuisine school of Amatrice to try the original recipe.
But the echo had not yet been turned off than during the Mastechef contest, the USA Chef Joe Bastianich suggested a competitor to use the onion in the preparation of gricia, the ancestor of Amatriciana.

Bill pizza Cracco

Bill pizza Cracco

Pizza Cracco

Pizza Cracco

Well, he’s American, will think the readers, and instead to give a strong hand we find the Italian Michelin Star Chef Cracco: pure delirium.
But Chef Cracco offers us another of his pearls on a silver plate when at the beginning of the year in his new restaurant in Galleria Vittorio Emanuele in Milan he proposes his pizza.
Not even to say (just watch the photo) to understand what is the wasps’ nest that has raised between pizza’s purists and non.
There is no scandal or worse outrage because it costs too much, everyone spends his money as he wants, but let me say it is ugly, it looks like a burned Apulian frisella, and there are several versions of pizza… that do not include the crap of Cracco that would do better continue to make the judge at Masterchef.

 

Starter Milena Galbanelli

Starter Milena Galbanelli

Few months ago it was the time of Milena Gabanelli, a well-known and well-loved Italian investigative journalist who, at dinner to Marconi in the Michelin-star restaurant of Aurora and Massimo Mazzucchelli to Sasso Marconi (near Bologna), took a photo of her starter and published it on social media, commenting on it, a very common practice: “NOTHING HEAVY This is an appetizer I do not know what I ate because I could not taste it (cod was written there) But these chefs …?! Milena Gabanelli “.
Her very critical caption and the fact that the restaurant it is a Michelin Star, triggered immediately the controversy.
It is also true that it was not an appetizer but an “amuse bouche”, but it is still a miserable course for which a restaurant should be ashamed.

 

 

The six Chefs Moretti beer advisors

The six Chefs Moretti beer advisors

Chefs Antonino Cannavacciuolo, Davide del Duca, Christian Milone, Davide Oldani, Claudio Sadler and Viviana Varese lent themselves to advertising a beer allowing it to put on their label a caricature instead of the legendary “Baffo“.
It turns out that all six Chefs of the labels, apparently have a close link with this brand of beer: Del Duca and Milone won the Birra Moretti Grand Cru Prize (respectively in 2014 and 2012), the competition promoted by Birra Moretti in collaboration with Identità Golose (The International Chef Congress), which tests the originality, skills and imagination of the best young Italian talents under 35 inviting them to challenge each other proposing dishes in which beer is used in combination and as an ingredient, Cannavacciuolo, Oldani, Sadler and Varese, instead, four stars of the Italian culinary firmament, have been part of the jury of the Prize and have been called to decree the most virtuous among the emerging Chefs.

 

 

Joe Bastianich mcdonalds advisor

Joe Bastianich mcdonalds advisor

That what reported is a striking case of conflict of interest is undoubted, the fact remains that the next time the Chefs will go to advertise McDonald’s?
I‘m sorry, I forgot, Chef Joe Bastianich advertise McDonald’s, Chef Cracco, instead, advertise the San Carlo’s chips, Chef Bruno Barbieri advertise the industrial chicken Amadori brand and I could go on, this is a real mine, more than golden nuggets gives us some ideas for reflection about the opportunity to go and sit at their tables.

 

 

 

 

Today we are invaded by chefs that if you go to dinner in their restaurants, they are not there because they are always on TV.
Who fuck is cooking then?
Obviously, their brigade, authentic hidden protagonists, who in addition to having much of the merit in achieving the coveted Michelin star by the restaurant (and, of course, by the Chef), are often also paid a little.
So, the question arises spontaneously… but these mega star Chef, will they be able to cook?
Or is it all a cackle, maybe seasoned with crystals of lamb meteorite in liquid and gaseous nitrogen crust with ionized particles to the lobster of Garda Lake?
A bruschetta, thank you… better if it’s good!
I love cuisine.
I love haute cuisine.
I love certain personages, who managed to make what was once a simple and noble work, an art form.
However, in my opinion, the true phenomena of modern cuisine are those who, in addition to having the right honors, always profess humility.
Because, being a cook or a Chef, it’s hard work.
And if you do it with humility, respect and passion for quality, it is even more so.
And the true aces, after appearing on TV or in a magazine, go back to the kitchen to cook, to discover, to experiment and invent a new dish, with the sole purpose of surprising their customers.
Fortunately they are not all affected by “phenomenalism”, and I love these Chefs, even cooks.
So, less Chefs and more cooks.
We need it!
And to the phenomena Chefs I ask “do you make me a spaghetto garlic oil and pepper?”
Let’s see if it is good, at least at the height of your stars.
Now I close, because talking about phenomena in the kitchen, start to spinning my balls… sorry, start to dynamize my balls.
Because dynamizing means spinning
(Crozza docet).

 

Olives

Ripe olives

 

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Italian Extra Virgin Olive Oil Benefit

Bruschetta

Whizz up the tastiest salad dressings, add a finishing flourish to soups or use as a dip for a bruschetta.

Made from the very first pressing of olives, extra virgin is the most flavoursome as it’s not been diluted and has had minimal processing.

In a similar way to wine, olive oil has a complex variety of flavours to look out for, expect a balance of fruit, spice and pepper; however, unlike wine, olive oil does not improve with age, so use liberally and look for a dark glass container to store in as light can rapidly diminish the oil quality.

Extra virgin olive oil has a low burn point which if reached can break down the nutritional benefits and produce harmful chemicals but used correctly has featuring heavily in the healthy Mediterranean diet.

 

Italian Extra Virgin Olive Oil

Extra Virgin Olive Oil

Scientific studies indicate that olive oil, among all the oils, is the healthiest one.

Unlike other products for seasoning, extra virgin olive oil is the only one obtained solely through a mechanical extraction process such as centrifugation or dripping or squeezing in order to obtain a real fruit juice.

According to the European rules, is considered extra virgin oil when cold pressed mechanically and have some peculiar characteristics.
Through the “panel test”, an organoleptic analysis also regulated by strict European standards, is evaluated the taste, color, smell and appearance of the oil.

In the extra virgin olive oil the beneficial components for health are the polyphenols, responsible for the characteristic taste of the oil: the more there are and the more it is spicy and fruity.
Polyphenols are a family of strongly revalued chemical compounds because:

  • antioxidants, therefore they act as inhibitors of the “free radicals” of the organism able to activate tumor forms and other diseases;
  • reduce the bad cholesterol (LDL) circulating in the blood, which thus remains smoother and with less risk of heart attack.

Among other things, with their antioxidant action, they lengthen the life of the oil, whose alteration is mainly due to the action of oxygen.
The other beneficial components of the extra virgin olive oil are unsaturated fatty acids, in particular oleic acid, which is monounsaturated, present for about 75% and can be defined as the “guardian” of the arteries as it binds to cholesterol in the blood dragging it away.
Given that its acidic composition is similar to mother’s milk, extra virgin olive oil is recommended as an aid for the weaning of children; it is also useful to take it in old age because it help the assimilation of calcium and its mineralization, helping to prevent osteoporosis.

Italian Extra Virgin Olive Oil DOP

Riviera Ligure DOP

As for wines, even among the various extra virgin olive oils there are those PDOs recognized by the European Community as high quality oils.
Oil producers who come from a PDOs production area must scrupulously respect the production regulations, their olive groves must be registered in the olive-oil-producers register and must also submit the production report to the Chamber of Commerce, providing the guarantee that the entire spinneret of production (processing, storage and bottling) takes place in a certain designation of origin.
The quality of extra virgin olive oil depends on the cultivation of the olives, the agronomic technique, the environment, the harvesting period, the processing technology and the conservation of the oil.

 

 

What does extra virgin mean?
T
he “virgin” attribute for the oil indicates that the extraction process is carried out exclusively with physical and mechanical methods, without the use of solvents that characterize, for example, the extraction of many seed oils and without mixing with oils of other nature.
The olive oil is extra-virgin when, in addition to being mechanically extracted, it has an acidity lower than 0.8% (the good quality oils have a much lower acidity).
Up to 2% acidity, the oil is considered “virgin”, over the oil can only be traded after its refining in which it is deacidified with chemical processes and sold as “refined olive oil”.
Olive oil without specific attributes, is instead a mixture of refined oils and virgin oil in an indeterminate percentage with a total acidity of less than 1.5%.

Cilento DOP Extra Virgin Olive Oil

Cilento DOP

Buying guide
Extra virgin olive oil is not a product for which to save on; many of the oils sold in large-scale distribution are made up of mixtures of oils and have prices that are slightly higher than the cost of the bottle and the cap which, by themselves, make us realize that the quality of the product is poor.
Recognizing a good extra virgin olive oil from the perfume and taste may require a minimum of training, but the low cost of the oil can be a first exclusion criterion.
Find your oil with experience using these suggestions.

Smell:
Firstly, in an extra virgin olive, is the smell of the olives to be able to say that it is “fruity” oil, an oil, i.e., in which the scent of the fruit (olives) is perceived in a well-defined way.
The oil must be free from defects in the production chain such as rancid, mold, sludge, etc.

Color:
The color of an extra virgin olive oil can vary from yellow to green, with infinte shades in between.
Contrary to what many believe, a greener oil is not necessarily better or more genuine because its coloring is given by the degree of ripeness of the olives at the time of harvest and their variety; a greener oil has a greater presence of chlorophyll, usually due to less mature olives, more yellow has instead the prevalence of carotenes, if the color tends to orange-reddish, it is likely that the oil is oxidized.
Whatever the color, the extra virgin olive oil must have one: if the oil appears colorless or transparent, it is better to desist from the purchase.

Taste:
W
hy does the new oil pinch and is bitter?
Those who are not experts in freshly pressed olive oil tend to exchange the pinching and bitterness of the new oil as defects. In reality it is not at all like this, they are invaluable characteristics that help us to distinguish a good extra virgin olive oil from one of dubious quality.
The acidity of extra virgin olive oil can not be perceived through taste; in its chemical composition there are no perceptible acids, not even salts or sugars.
Bitter and spicy are both dependent on the type of olive that will be used, the type of processing and the degree of ripeness.
An extra virgin olive oil that does not pinch has probably lost these substances, proving more vulnerable to oxidation and aging, as well as less healthy for our body.

Extra Virgin Olive Oil Val di Mazara DOP

Val di Mazara DOP

Purchase period:
T
he ideal season for buying the extra virgin olive oil is autumn, since it is at this time of year that olives are harvested and cold pressed, without any thermal alteration or chemistry: only this procedure, in fact, allows to obtain the term Extravergine to the olive oil, characterized by precise organoleptic qualities.

Conservation:
Extra virgin olive oil must be kept in dark bottles to protect it from light; like all fats, extra virgin olive oil must be protected from oxidation and contact with polluting substances as well as odors as it absorbs them easily, a feature that makes it perfect for the production of perfumes, essences, balsams and aromatized oils.
The ideal storage temperature of the oil is 15 ° C (the cold does not alter the structure of the oil and does not affect its preservability): if you do not have a dry and well-ventilated cellar, look for the coolest (and darkest) point of the house.
Experts reccomend to consume the oil in the same production year, because the antioxidant content that preserves it from rancidation fades over time, but remains edible up to 20 months from the squeezing: it can therefore be said that the content of natural antioxidants of an extra virgin olive oil together with the way in which it is conserved, defines its duration.

Cost of extra virgin olive oil:
How many olives do you need to make a liter of oil? The olive oil yield is a fairly variable parameter: different varieties of olives give different yields but in principle to make a liter of oil it takes about 6-7 kilos of olives.
The cost of a single liter of extra virgin olive oil is estimated according to its type and type of processing, the costs of cultivation of the olive grove (plowing, pruning, harvesting), milling and packaging costs (labeling, cans, bottles packaging), advertising and transport as well as olive yield depending on the vintage and the variety.
The cost in Italy for 2018 is estimated between 5 to 10 euros per liter, with higher peaks due to particular oil excellences.

 

 

Spaghetti di Gragnano alla carbonara

Spaghetti di Gragnano alla carbonara served at Aromi Diversi

 

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How many carbonara recipes exist?
For the for the orthodoxes of the carbonara, there is only the one made made with crispy guanciale(*), whisked eggs yolk and pecorino romano cheese, the others, if exist, are not true carbonara but something else; but going back in time, we realize that this delicious dish of Italian cuisine, has a recent history, and in about seventy years of life has undergone transformations lasting even long periods where the orthodoxes of the carbonara of those times, recognized it as the original single discarding all the others.

One of the latest transformations dates back to some years ago with the advent of the low temperature cooking technique (Sous Vide) that promises to obtain a perfect consistency of the eggs without adding cream or other ingredients: actually I get the same consistency even with the classic method but so is it.

In the specialized pages of blogs and social media, the controversy surrounding the carbonara regarding the ingredients and its preparation are the subject of clashes between the insiders, each one with its own pecorino cheese or guanciale, each one convinced that the creaminess of his is better than that of another, the common denominator is the good quality of the pastas.

But what triggers the insiders is the “Carbonaragate“, the scandal originated by the video of the French version of Carbonara who sparked outrage from Italian foodies who made the following request: “Let Italians cook pasta, please!”
The french crap carbonara, indeed, using boiled bacon, crème fraîche and a raw egg, leaves the internet appalled.
Not even the time to turn off the echo of the comments, a new video it appears, if is possible, even worse than the previous.

The carbonara, as I think we understand, is a very loved and debated dish of the traditional italian cuisine, upset the recipe is like equalize “pate de porc” to the “foie gras” or use pork in the  “beef Wellington”: you can’t compare apples to oranges!

 

On the origin of carbonara there are, at least, three hypothesis.

The first assigns the paternity to Renato Gualandi who would create it at the end of the second world war.

According by the second, the dish would be an invention of the “Carbonari” (not the Risorgimental rebels so called), those who made charcoal, a long job during which they fed with easy-to-find ingredients mixed with macaroni.

The third and last origin would be Neapolitan, hypothesis put forward by an Italian-American journalist as bizarre as arrogant, who credits his thesis uphold that similar ingredients appear in various recipes of that region: with all respect for Naples and its wonderful cuisine, I think that such a thesis has no foundation because many other Italian regions have the same ingredients in their recipes and it is not clear why the Neapolitan.

Which of the three hypotheses is the right one, probably will never know, however one thing is certain: the carbonara is perfectly suited to the Roman cuisine that was, and still is, made with flavors and rustic ingredients such as guanciale and pecorino.

 

I then gathered over the 10 carbonara’s recipes, starting with the first of Chef Renato Gualandi until today, it will be interesting to see how a dish could have had so many transformations.

Lyophilized eggs

Lyophilized eggs

1944, September 22: the first carbonara – Chef Renato Gualandi
The first homologated carbonara is that of Renato Gualandi who coocked the dish in Riccione (Italy) during the meeting between the English VIII Army and the American V. He seasoned the pasta with mixed bacon, cream of milk, cheese and egg-yolk powder and ground pepper that the Americans had in large quantities and served this pasta for dinner to the generals and the officers, a successful choice.

1952: Pasta Carbonara -y Patricia Bronté
S
he coock the first carbonara appears to Chicago: tagliolini, eggs, lettuce and parmigiano.

1954: Spaghetti alla carbonara – “Italian cuisine”, III, 8 (August 1954)
T
he first Italian recipe. In this version it was made from eggs, bacon,  gruyere cheese, garlic and pepper.

1954: Spaghetti alla carbonara – “Harper’s Bazaar”
A
n unorthodox American carbonara with butter, clams, yolks of eggs, Parmesan cheese and pepper.

1955: Macaroni alla carbonara – Felix Dessì, La signora in the kitchen
T
his time the pasta should be seasoned with eggs, Parmesan or pecorino cheese and pepper.

1960: Spaghetti alla carbonara – Luigi Carnacina, La grande cucina
A
great Chef inaugurates the guanciale and cream season and the other ingredients are butter, whole eggs,  grated Parmesan cheese and pepper.

1986: Bucatini alla carbonara – Matilde Laurenti, The true Roman cuisine
T
he carbonara orthodoxy makes its way into a recipe book dedicated to Roman specialties. The ingredients are bucatini, bacon or guanciale, eggs,  grated Parmesan and Pecorino cheese,  onion, garlic, extra virgin olive oil and pepper.

1989: Spaghetti alla carbonara – Gualtiero Marchesi, Italian regional cuisine
I
ngredients: guanciale, cream, egg yolks, grated pecorino cheese, butter, salt and pepper.

Spaghetti alla carbonatriciana- Luca Cesari

Spaghetti alla carbonatriciana

2017: Carbonara cooked at low temperature
Ingredients: spaghetti Cavalieri or big spaghetti Rummo,  as many whole eggs as many egg yolks, guanciale, grated pecorino romano cheese, little salt and aboundant pepper. The sauce obtained with the eggs, the egg yolk and pecorino cheese is cooked in Sous Vide.

Spaghetti alla carbomatriciana – Luca Cesari
The two recipes symbol of the Roman tradition gathered in a single dish that looks to the future.
Ingredients: spaghetti Cavalieri or big spaghetti Rummo, as many whole eggs as many egg yolks, guanciale, grated pecorino romano cheese, San Marzano tomatoes, little salt and aboundant pepper.

 

 

Appetite comes with eating, and after the first list of 10 carbonaras I have looked for what other changes have been made.
Carbonara: the author variants

Carbonara di pesce
A
urora Mazzucchelli  prepared her dish using scallops and mullets. No eggs, replaced by an emulsion of scallops corals.

Carbonara di montagna
T
he South Tyrolean chef Norbert Niederkofler use only local products such as spelled pasta, lard, speck powder and mountain grazing cheese.

Risotto alla carbonara
C
hristian and Manuel Costardi seasoned their risotto with beaten egg yolk, crispy bacon, pecorino cream and a sprinkling of pepper.

Carbonara ice cream
I
side De Cesare transformed into ice cream eggs and cheese with spaghetti of courgettes, crispy bacon and black truffle.

Fagottelli(**) alla  Carbonara
H
einz Beck the dressing stuffed the fagottelli while the sauce is based on veal and zucchini.

Negativo di carbonara
A
ntonello Colonna: also in this case it is the pasta to be filled with carbonara and then seasoned in the crème fraîche.

Pizza carbonara
S
tefano Callegari merge the classic pizza base and the traditional carbonara seasoning.

Black is black Chef Davide Scabin

Black is black Chef Davide Scabin

Black is black
D
avide Scabin spaghetti with cuttlefish ink cooked in a vacuum, caviar and cream of eggs whipped with guanciale fat and cheese.

Sommario di carbonara
R
iccardo Di Giacinto who enclose all the elements (eggs, cheese, guanciale) within an egg shell.

Carbonara veg
S
imone Salvini presents his carbonara prepared with wholemeal spaghetti, tofu and almond milk: in 3 ingredients we summarize the philosophy in the kitchen of Simone Salvini (sic!).

Carbonara di mare
M
auro Uliassi season his dish with a cream composed by mantis shrimps eggs, gray mullet eggs and sea urchins. The guanciale is replaced by cod tripe.

Carbonara a freddo
P
aolo Parisi features fresh eggs tagliolini, a mix of Parmesan and pecorino cheese, eggs, marjoram, lemon and squeezed garlic.

Healthy carbonara
T
he japanese Chef Kotaro Noda promises to cook a carbonara lighter than a salad thanks to the particular glaze of the bacon in the oven to prevent it from reaching the smoke point.

Uovo 65
R
oy Caceres serves it as an appetizer and not as a first dish completely deform in the concept of a typical dish, it is an egg cooked at 65 ° C topped with a mousse of pecorino cheese and parmesan.
The pasta? Puffed rigatoni and crispy bacon.

Carbonara sbagliata
F
erran Adrià proposes taglierini topped with Parmesan cheese, smoked bacon, egg, plus a “reinforcement” of agar-agar powder, butter, cream, truffle oil and, in the creative version, even peas.

 

Carbonara: the home variants

Tuna carbonara
C
omposed of eggs, garlic, Parmesan cheese, tuna and parsley as well as oil, salt and pepper.

Carbonara with mushrooms and bacon
Composed of porcini mushrooms, diced bacon, Parmesan cheese, parsley, eggs and garlic as well as oil, salt and pepper.

Carbonara with aubergines
Composed of aubergines, Parmesan cheese, capers and eggs as well as oil, salt and pepper.

Carbonara with peppers
Composed of tomatoes, onion, garlic, peppers and eggs as well as oil, salt and pepper.

Vegetarian zucchini carbonara
Composed of eggs, pecorino cheese and zucchini as well as oil, salt and pepper.

 

The Italian patriotism, already sarcastically described by Winston Churchill who claimed that “the Italians lose the football matches as if they were wars and lose the wars as if they were football matches”, could be further enriched with the rewriting of article 1 of the Constitution as follows: “Italy is a democratic republic founded on Carbonara, sovereignty appertain to the egg yolk, which is whisked according to pecorino and limits of the guanciale”.

Carbonara: the crap variants

Carbonara americana italian style
Frozen bacon (so that it is easier then cut it into cubes) fried, whole eggs, butter, garlic, cream, peas and Parmesan cheese: next ingredients? Beetroot, broccoli or cucumber?

Carbonara Sarcozy
The French Chef who calved a similar abortion have perfumed it with “eau de tristesse”.
He seasoned farfalle (***) (cooked in water and oil, to prevent sticking and obtaining a slimy product to which no sauce can stick) with boiled bacon and shallot, crème fraîche, parsley, as well as salt and pepper. Once placed up the pasta, a raw egg is added to it center (hopefully fresh and without salmonellosis problems).

Baked carbonara with asparagus
Created from an overseas disturbed mind, the dish composed by lardon, cheese, eggs, asparagus and cream, has nothing in common with the traditional recipe that does not include oven or asparagus.

 

Colombian Carbonara
Proposed by a terrifying restaurant in Bogota, it is made up of chunks of chicken and an unspecified vegetables. The “Italian food” hashtag would be enough provocation to declare war on the South American country.

Carbonara and cutlet
I wonder why we did not take us to accompany the pasta to a chicken schnitzel with fries. Composed with cheese, potato, chilli sauce, milk and… a touch of class: the raw sliced tomato.

Carbonara broccoli and chicken
A Chinese who prepares a carbonara in New York? Probably the google translation service did not work right because he has prepared the criminal dish with toasted chicken and broccoli. The only acceptable ingredient is the linguini.

Carbonara soup

Carbonara soup

Carbonara soup
There is no limit to the worst, this Chilean version of carbonara is the proof. Impossible understand how this obscenity was composed, if this mess contains pasta or something else, just a dish filled with an orange-yellow broth that seems to contain potatoes with a pile of minced vegetable that could be parsley.

Carbonara with hazelnuts
Directly from the capital of the Czech Republic, here is another unprecedented crap composed by roasted cauliflower and hazelnuts. Are we sure it’s not the squirrels’ food? Will they bark the nuts before putting them in the plate?

American carbonara
Have you finished the pancetta (not even to talk about guanciale) and all the shops are closed? Or are you lazy to go out shopping? Does not matter, open the fridge, get hotdogs, eggs and cream, the first cheese you find and the pasta is ready… to be thrown into the trash basket.

Carbonara for disturbed minds
Wholemeal pasta, tuna, yogurt, mushrooms, onion, minced turkey, eggs and pepper: whoever has made this list of ingredients has no idea what it is a carbonara. But the sublime art of the author of this crap is espressed with the fried egg on top of the pasta: put on the top of the steamed rice is Thai cuisine, but on the carbonara is an absolutely no-sense.

Carbonara with precooked rice noodles
Asia also affects carbonara even though, with this recipe, it is even closer to the original one than most of  others. As a premise, the author uses precooked noodles, rolled bacon thinly cut into strips and fried, egg yolks, Parmesan cheese and pepper. I put it in the worst variants even if it does not deserve so much severity of judgment, but I continue to prefer good quality pastas cooked at the moment and you?

Avocado Carbonara
Lemon juice, eggs yolk, avocado, cream, salt and pepper: why not find a name for this recipe by this unknown author, this new Chef in search of an author? Carbonara is carbonara, if there is the avocado would be called avogadonara.

Spiralized Sweet Potato Carbonara noodles
Eggs, parmesan cheese, pepper and few table spoon of coocking water season the noodles (obtained from the carving of sweet potatoes) boiled in hot water around 3 minutes and drained. Into this mess is added mushrooms, spinach and bacon sautéed in a pan with garlic and olive oil. I am speachless (and is better)!

Carbonara with whole fish

Carbonara with whole fish

Carbonara with whole fish
Finally an unpublished ingredient: salmon. Broccoli and steamed salmon for an inedible crap. Please avoid to call it carbonara, no even a dog can eat.

Smoked salmon carbonara
Whole eggs, cream, smoked salmon, onion, shallot, parsley, Parmesan cheese, garlic, pepper and olive oil. Please stop with Master Chef programs, wake up, just a question to the author of this crap: how many ingredients does original carbonara require?

Cheese cream carbonara
Milk, Parmesan cheese, garlic powder, peas, fried bacon and cream cheese to season this new entry carbonara pasta. The purpose of this lethal recipe has double effects: destroy the reputation of carbonara and enrich the drugs corporations, I just watched the video and my cholesterol rised.

Carbonara in the microwave
Crippled spaghetti and diced bacon get killed by microwave in a little water, drained and seasoned with lyophilized chicken broth, Parmesan cheese, egg yolk, cream and pepper. Why so much cruelty?

Spaghetti carbonara mega hiper sztoss – Krzysztof Szufla
From Poland with fury, tomatoes, cubes of baked pork , sauted mushrooms, a lot of frozen paprika, mix of frozen spices and herbs. The composition of the dish is even more bizarre, if possible, of the ingredients and is made by leaning on lettuce leaves a first layer of boiled tagliatelle, seasoning it with the mixture of the above ingredients, adding thick slices of Camamberg Cheese (I know, even the French Chefs are thinking to invade Poland), a not specified grated cheese; a second layer of tagliatelle that goes seasoned with the rest of the ingredients on the list and… ketchup spread on the top. Would be better for everyone if Krzysztof Szufla cooking his zurek, barszcz bialy, bigos etc, hoping he cooks those better than carbonara.

Vegan carbonara
Soy souce, maple syrup, apple cyder vinegar, olive oil, liquid smoke, mushrooms, garlic, soaked cashews, soy milk, nutritional yeast, silken tofu and peas. Flying over the complex and absurd preparation, the incredible list of ingredients used for compose a dish (that originally needs just three basic ingredients), no one in this receipe recall the carbonara, give a different name no?

Carbonara with ice cream
This is at the top of the crap recipes: fried bacon, egg and cream seasoned pasta above which is added a scoop of ice cream. Well, with this flagship, the mad cook have scraped the bottom of the barrel.

 

Guanciale

Guanciale

Fagottelli Heinz Beck

Fagottelli

Farfalle pasta

Farfalle

(*) Guanciale is an Italian cured meat product prepared from pork jowl or cheeks. Its name is derived from guancia, Italian for cheek

(**) Fagottelli is a kind of stuffed pasta

(***) Farfalle is a kind of pasta that takes its name from the butterfly that the particular shape recalls